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Reaching out.

A blog for #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek 2019

It’s mental health awareness week, and I’ve seen lots of things about “I’m always here, reach out to me if you need help”, or “show you care, support those around you by reaching out to them and seeing how they are doing”.

And I wholeheartedly love both these sentiments. We should be talking about mental health more and more. As a society we’re having more conversation about what we can do to support each other and be kind to ourselves, and it’s great.

My problem is the thought of reaching out to anyone, to say I need help, or to offer support, fills me with dread.

I’ve talked before on social media about my Imposter Syndrome and social anxiety, and Gavin Elliot does one of the best blogs out there about what Imposter syndrome is. It makes you feel like you add no worth. So reaching out to ask for help, or offering help to others, is very very hard to do, because it is imposing on others time. Butting into their life uninvited. Interrupting them. Giving them the opportunity to see you.

I’ve been told in the past people don’t assume I ever need help because I seem confident. That I can seem imposing to approach. Yet I always try to help other when I am approached, I will share what’s going on in my life and the things that are bothering me if I am asked about them.

But the ability to reach out first? To drop someone a message out of the blue? On a bad day I can find that simple act almost impossible.

That fear is something over the years I’ve worked hard to overcome, and I will now try and force myself to reach out, both to ask for help, and to ask if I can help without waiting to be given a direct opening. But even on the best day, it still takes effort for me to do so, it is not natural for me.

It’s something I oddly find a little easier in a professional setting, as I know what my role is and my responsibilities within that, but outside of that scope then it becomes much harder for me to reach out first.

And the thing is, even when you’re doing well, and have been doing well for a while, it’s easy for your confidence to take a hit, and for you to take a backwards step. For things you thought you had overcome to rear their head. 

And that is ok.

There will be times when you’re doing well and can do the things you find hard. And times when your can’t.

However you manage your mental health, the first step is knowing yourself, knowing what you find hard and what things can set you back, owning that knowledge. But its also important to recognise the things that can help you do the things you find hard. That good days and bad days exist.

And I just want to say I hear you. I’m here should you ever want to talk. Whether you can reach or to me or not, I want you to know you are not alone.

If you’re struggling with your mental health, Mind can be a good place to start if you need some help.